Weird me!

For a blog that is created for ultimate venting, this is one huge failure! I thought I’d keep this blog running with a zillion posts a day, however I disappeared after my first post which was just a introduction. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I haven’t been blogging cause life’s been nice to me. Oh no, there’s plenty to bitch about, but for some reason I didn’t feel like writing. Weird, cause I’ve been thinking about a career in writing. You think that maybe cause I haven’t been able to keep it up on daily basis here, then writing isn’t my thing? mmm beats me!

Writing keeps me sane, it’s when i’m extremely angry or jumping up and down with joy that I turn to my papers to write, but again, why haven’t I been coming this past week? No idea, but that’s to be contemplated about later.

So, I’ve come to the conclusion that people aren’t my thing; they seem to like me for some reason, but it’s not mutual at all. I got the Myer Briggs test done a while back and guess what, I’m an introvert! LOL, now that was something! You just had to see me talking my head off about how I hated how secretive and quiet introverts were, cause you know what, I always believed myself to be a top of the list extrovert. So here I am, in a room full of people I hardly know (my then new work colleagues) arguing that introverts are so hard to deal with, unapproachable, quiet and just UGH! and next thing I know my boss hands over my test results and I’m an INFP!

Now the NFP thing, i’m totally on board with; I know for a fact that I’m a person who follows my intuition and have no room in my mind for sense, I’m def. without argument a feeling person and for crying out loud I’m never a J. But an introvert! I mean OMG! I babble all the time, everybody who knows me knows what’s going on in my life, if not in full details then at least they’re familiar with the highlights so how can I be an introvert!

With my, not so recent, hatred for the human race, I’m come to make sense of why I COULD be an introvert rather than an extrovert. I play by my own set of ethics, and people amaze me every second of the day by the their lack of ethics all together. I believe in right and wrong; now don’t get me wrong, I’m not claiming in any way to be an angel here, but when I wrong people, I know I’m at fault and I try to make it up. But here people seem to enjoy playing dumb, and have an amazing ability to underestimate other people’s intelligence and that just ticks me off. I mean how dare you think you’re smarter than I am, how dare you take me so lightly! Just because I play nice doesn’t mean I can’t sting!

When you let people pass before you, it’s not cause you can’t cut them off or anything of the sort; it’s cause you were brought up to be the bigger person. When you disagree with others and know for a fact that you’d only agree to disagree and so let it go; it’s not cause you’re without a concrete opinion or can’t put your foot down; it’s cause you have the decency and the understanding to know for a fact that it’s ok to disagree with others without any hint of disrespect.

Well, the story of my struggle with people isn’t just about them cutting each other off, disagreeing with one another; it’s their life style that is remotely different than mine, it’s their different understanding of how life is supposed to be. Maybe it’s the cultural differences, the different upbringing but God knows that life in the States was so much easier, the pace of life was slower, I felt like I could accomplish so much, like I could achieve and get to places. But here in Egypt, life is just cruel; I have accomplished but it’s nothing off the list of things I wanted to do. I’m 27 and I feel like my life is doomed, that I can’t breathe, that I’m crippled…

To be continued.


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